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5 Troubles of Having a Big Family

june 29, 2016 (1)

Having a family of your own is one of the best feelings in the world. Holding your little rug-rats till they eventually grow older is the other best feeling as a mother. If you would have told me in middle school that I was going to be a mom, I probably would have laughed in your face and said some obscured line. If you would have told me I was going to be a mom of three mini-sized Tasmanian devils then I would have probably ran the other.

However with the best feelings in the world, come the problems and obstacles! I never knew raising three children would be one of the hardest tasks I would ever have to face on a day-to-day basis. It is worth it but can be troubling at times. For those who have even bigger family numbers, I applauded you! I would not be able to handle being in your shoes for a day.

I have come up with 5 problems to having a bigger family. None of these are to scare you out of having a big family, by all means the more the merrier!

Space/Clutter

When having a bigger family space becomes an issue. From the living room being converted into the play room to no longer having your own room. Here at the H. household we are a family of five! Even in a two bedroom apartment we are often cramped for space. My living room looks like a war zone of toys that was made by tiny elves. Organization becomes key when having a bigger family, however I lack at the thought of organizing toys! Clutter is another thing that comes with having three pint-sized human beings. Mom space becomes their space!

Alone Time

Having one child is easy, it takes little effort, in my opinion. You can do so many things and be alone for a while; you can take a nap when they nap, you can have a cup of tea and breath, or even shower in privacy! When I had my oldest I was able to do things by myself! Now having three I can’t even make food with out all three of them at my feet like tiny dogs. I won’t even get started on alone time with your better half, we have maybe one date night a month because we don’t get time alone. Our alone time is at eight at night while watching Netflix as we pass out from pure exhaustion.

Can I Super Size That?

Having a bigger family eventually means upgrading to bigger things. Not all items need upgrading but most things you will have to super size it. Example¬† your car is one thing that is a needed upgrade. Our previous car was a Kia Rondo. It isn’t huge but isn’t as small as a four door Honda Malibu. When I became a mother of three plus the dogs I found it extremely cramped and had to level up my car. I now own a Toyota Sienna, that’s right a mom van. Never in my life have I ever wanted a mom van, but that is the prognosis of having a bigger family.

You also have to Super Size your pantry and fridge capacity. If you have boy’s you know why, if not well lets just say having a bigger family means more mouths to feed. We now have to feed seven mouths (fur babies too), three of which are boy’s! I run out food faster than running out of cloths to wash.

Sorry I’m Late

I use to be a very punctual person! I would arrive to work an hour before my shift started, be on time for birthdays, and never miss a time frame. Now trying to get three deaf little humans to get their butts in gear has made me become less that punctual. It is very rarely that I show up on time for things. I am either ten minutes behind or calling saying that we will be extremely late. Hot mess moms know this trouble!

Asking your children to put shoes on turns into you becoming Godzilla and yelling the question. My family wonders why my daughter has two mismatched socks, it’s because I would rather get out the door and her be alive then worry about the color of socks she happened to find. This also falls into super sizing and space, but shoving all the kids in the car is another problem for being late. One always has to pee right after you buckle them, you have to ask if they are all still buckled when starting the car, and by the time you start to dive off you realize someone forgot their shoes after asking seven thousand times to put them on!

“You have your hands full!”

If there is one thing I can’t stand its strangers having the need to make comments about your rather large family size. I don’t get it as much anymore unless the children are acting up in public but I know it happens behind my back. When I had my youngest I was twenty-two, I always got “Your too young to have three!” or “You sure do have your hands full!”.¬† Yes having three unruly children can be a handful at times I already know this you don’t need to point it out. As much as I try to appreciate the comments I don’t need a stranger telling me that I have my hand full. What are my hands full of exactly? Is it the endless energy that I wish I could contain and use or is it the fact that they are actually playing with each other despite me saying don’t be so rowdy in public?

But let me tell you something about all these reasons

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Having more children to raise is hard work but it is worth the undeniable and unconditional love you get in return. Having three kids to love is beyond fulfilling even in the worst of times. Yes they make me want to pull my hair out, yes at twenty-four I have started getting grey hairs but at the end of the day my three Jedi’s loving me is the best feeling in the world. They don’t care about the lacking space, the being late or all the other reasons. They care about loving us and us loving them.

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My 2 year old is turning me into a sleep-deprived zombie.

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I swear that my 2 year old is trying to kill me. She will be the death of me due to lack of sleep. (I already don’t sleep well as it is.) My husband and I have not gotten decent sleep in about 2 months. My husband has been functioning off of coffee and I have been functioning off of sheer motivation because that’s all I have. I don’t drink coffee… yes, you heard that right, no coffee… or energy drinks. I have to go with the sheer motivation because I don’t want to get fired from my job for falling asleep and with what I do, that’s entirely possible. I’m attached to a computer 40 to 50 hours a week, so it gets boring.

When Averie was 4 months old, the only sleeping issue we had was the initial getting her to fall asleep. Once she fell asleep, 90% of the time, she slept through the night. Now, she fights us on going to bed and doesn’t stay asleep. She wakes up and then goes and wakes us up at least 3 times a night. Who’s idea was the big girl bed anyways?!

Fighting Bedtime.

It takes me, daddy and papa most nights to get her to stay in her bed and normally that’s about a 2 to 3 hour process. We just go a new baby gate that we put in front her door until she goes to sleep, then we move it. Even having the gate up, barricading her in her room, she still doesn’t give it up easily. She’ll call for her dad and I and we’ll just tell her to go to sleep without giving her the satisfaction of going to her room because that’s what she wants. So…. she has learned to call for Papa because he is weak and will go to her anytime she calls for him and she knows that.

Wanting Everything.

One of the main reasons why this is a 2 hour process is because she all of a sudden wants everything on God’s green earth when she said no to everything right before we put her in her bed.
Averie: Mama, ahhh juice?
Me: No juice, go to sleep.
Averie: MOMMY! AHHH Milk?!
Me: Nope, no milk either. You want a drink of water?
Averie: NO! I no wan waters!
Me: Okay, goodnight. *Walking away*
Averie: NO!!! AHHHH WATERS! (Her now asking for water.)
When I bring her a drink of water, she gets mad and throws a fit because it’s not juice…th

Her favorite thing to ask for is cheese for whatever reason. When asking for food and drinks doesn’t work, she’ll ask Papa to ‘Rock-a-baby’ which is him rocking her in the chair which he tries to do anytime she wants him to. Doesn’t work.

When she’s out of ideas.

When Averie realizes that we aren’t giving in and taking her out of her room, she’ll lie. Yes, my 2 year old lies. She’ll tell us, “I got poo-poo in nairs!” 90% of the time, she doesn’t…
As you can see, there’s a battle putting her to bed… It’s a battle pretty much every night. Sometimes we get lucky and she doesn’t fight us at all or sometimes she’ll even put herself to bed. SOMETIMES. That’s a rare occasion. Even though we get lucky sometimes putting her to bed, we almost never get lucky with her staying asleep. Can’t have everything, I guess.

Nightmares…?

Sometimes she’ll wake up crying around 2 or 3am and when I go in there, she has her hands on her eyes like she’s scared. When I ask if she’s scared, she’ll say yes, so I assume she had a nightmare. These suck and make me sad.

Sleepwalking.

One morning I was up at 4am to get ready to be to work by 5am, so it was still dark. I went to check on her and found that she was not in her bed. Naturally, I freaked out a little and woke Erich up. He jumped out of bed faster than I’ve ever seen him get out of bed. He looked in our room, our closets and our bathroom while I looked in her room, closet, and the other bathroom. (Normally she just goes to our room.) I walked down our long, creepy hallway to the living room and jumped when I found her sitting on the couch, asleep. SITTING UP, DEAD ASLEEP. She is so creepy.

Just Because.

The majority of the time, she just wakes up and then decides , “Since I’m awake, might as well go wake everyone else up.”
When she does come in our room, we’ll just lay her in bed with us and most of the time, she’ll go back to sleep and then so will we, but let me tell you, she’s a freaking bed hog and will eventually just wake up again to wake us up to tell us that she wants to go back to her bed…

Needless to say, I’m exhausted. All I’ve been thinking about lately, is sleep. Averie takes naps at daycare, so I’m screwed in that department. The only time I get to nap is if my husband or father-in-law are home to entertain her which is hardly never. Sometimes she’ll lay in bed with me and watch her tablet, but I swear, she doesn’t want me to sleep because the second my eyes close, she’s off the bed and is lathering herself in coco butter Vaseline…

Please tell me I am not alone in this no sleep club!

jessie