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“Nothing should be gender specific.”

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I’ve never been the kind of mom that put a gender specification on toys or clothes or activities. I did however do this not even realizing it… Yesterday I was at Walmart grocery shopping with Averie. We walked down an isle where a previous co-worker and good friend was stocking, and he just loves Averie (He has a five-year-old son). He was talking to Averie and asking her questions about what she likes and one of the things she said was that she likes playing with cars. Well He told Averie that he likes cars too and then I chimed in and said, “Yeah, she likes dirt and dinosaurs too. She loves to be dirty and do boy things, like her dad. I swear, she’s half boy.” He then said, “Why do you say that? Nothing should be gender specific.”

He is so right. Nothing for kids should be gender specific. I can’t believe I even said that. I wasn’t even thinking. Kids are who they are. Girls should be able to play with dinosaurs and cars without being criticized for it. I mean, we all learn about dinosaurs in school and eventually all drive cars, right? Just like boys should be able to play with baby dolls without getting any kind of looks from another judgmental parent. Eventually that boy will either become a dad or play a dad figure in another kid’s life at some point. Having a baby doll prepares them for that. It teaches them nurturing and kindness.

Another time I was at Walmart, I was getting Pull-ups and another mom was down the same isle doing the same thing. She turns to me and says, “Does it really matter what kind of Pull-ups I get for my daughter? I can get her the boy ones, right?” I replied, “Honestly, there is no boy ones or girl ones. They are all the same, just different colors.” She smiled and said, “Good, I’m glad you said that.” I let Averie pick out her own Pull-ups when she with me, and normally, she picks out the blue Paw Patrol ones. It’s pretty much whatever her interests are that week, which we all know that kid’s interests change all the time.

I have never not bought my daughter something that she really wanted because it was in the boy section. Nor will I ever do that. I will also never make a comment like I did at Walmart ever again. I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking that she can’t play with cars, dinosaurs or in the dirt because it’s for boys. I want her to be able to wear and do whatever she wants and feel comfortable with it. I want her to be able to dress up as Chase from Paw Patrol for Halloween if she wants to. I want her to feel comfortable in anything and everything she does. She isn’t a girl who likes boy things… She’s a girl who likes everything and doesn’t gender categorize. She just doesn’t care about that kind of stuff. If it looks fun or cool, she wants it.

I think we all need to be a little more like our kids. We shouldn’t gender categorize. Our kids like what they like because that is who they are, and we wouldn’t try and change our kids, right? We love them for who they are.

Speaking of kids being who they are… Something has been bothering me lately. One of my friends came out to everyone as gay just recently, and he was terrified to do it. Especially to his mom. This makes me sad that people feel the need that they need to hide and or announce being who they were born as. No one announces that they are straight. Why should someone who is attracted to the same sex feel the need to announce that they are gay or bi-sexual? They shouldn’t, because IT IS WHO THEY ARE. Everyone needs to stop discriminating against someone for being exactly who they are meant to be. It should just be a normal thing to be gay, bi, straight or whatever you want to be. Love is love regardless who it is between. Everyone should be able to love themselves, but others who hate, make it impossible sometimes for people to love themselves for who they are.

Less hate, more love people. Come on, it’s 2018. Hate and discrimination is so outdated. Love and acceptance are in.

Remember, gender categorizing and discriminating are not okay and makes you selfish human being.

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Such a sad world we live in.

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I don’t write posts like this very often, not because I don’t care, but because it’s difficult for me. It’s difficult for me as a mother mostly to write or talk horrendous situations like these.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

On August 23rd, the 3 year old body of Dejah Hunt was found in a duffel bag, in the closet of her MOTHER’S residence here in Las Vegas! The day before her body was found, her mother called 911 from an Albertson’s shopping center to report her missing. She told authorities that Dejah just wandered off. Authorities later found discrepancies in her story and searched her house where they found her body. Dejah died of blunt force trauma. Mother stated that she beat her because she wet herself. Mother had other young children that showed signs of abuse as well. Mother was arrested and charged with murder.

On September 2nd, the mother to 3 Daniel Theriot called 911 to report her son missing from Sunset park here in Las Vegas. However, the next morning, Daniel’s body was found near Lake mead national recreation area… no where near sunset park. His body showed signs of abuse. The mother and her boyfriend were arrested for child abuse with murder charges pending.
Mother called 911 around 9am on Sunday morning and Daniel’s body was found early Monday morning. Corner said he may have been murdered 12 hours BEFORE mother’s 911 call on Sunday. Before the 911 call, neighbors saw his mother and her boyfriend carrying a box to their car. Daniel’s younger brother was there, but Daniel was not.

HOW?! How can a mother that carried their babies for nine months and birthed them, harm them?! How can a person, let alone a MOTHER hurt a child, their child?! Those sweet babies counted on their mom’s for protection and love and the number one person who should of protected them from evil were the ones who showed evil towards them. I just don’t understand. Why?! I know being a mom can be difficult and there are a lot of really hard days, but too hard that they had to take innocent lives?! NO. Definitely not. There were other options instead of these evil, heartless crimes. Someone could of helped these mothers if they were struggling that badly!

Those babies counted on their Mama’s and they failed them. They were only 3 years old…

Being a mom, this hit me hard. When I look at my daughter, I see pure love and joy. I have difficult days with her, but that’s when I know she needs me most. She NEEDS me to guide her, teach her, be there for her, comfort her, and love her. My daughter trusts me with all of this…with her life, something of the most significance… I will never betray her trust. EVER.

I’m utterly sadden that Dejah and Daniel did not get to experience this love. Rest in peace, babies.

The world is actually a beautiful place… It’s the heartless humans who make it sad.

Hold your babies a little tighter for a little longer. Love them hard and hug them soft. Protect them always. They count on you… they NEED you.

 

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5 Troubles of Having a Big Family

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Having a family of your own is one of the best feelings in the world. Holding your little rug-rats till they eventually grow older is the other best feeling as a mother. If you would have told me in middle school that I was going to be a mom, I probably would have laughed in your face and said some obscured line. If you would have told me I was going to be a mom of three mini-sized Tasmanian devils then I would have probably ran the other.

However with the best feelings in the world, come the problems and obstacles! I never knew raising three children would be one of the hardest tasks I would ever have to face on a day-to-day basis. It is worth it but can be troubling at times. For those who have even bigger family numbers, I applauded you! I would not be able to handle being in your shoes for a day.

I have come up with 5 problems to having a bigger family. None of these are to scare you out of having a big family, by all means the more the merrier!

Space/Clutter

When having a bigger family space becomes an issue. From the living room being converted into the play room to no longer having your own room. Here at the H. household we are a family of five! Even in a two bedroom apartment we are often cramped for space. My living room looks like a war zone of toys that was made by tiny elves. Organization becomes key when having a bigger family, however I lack at the thought of organizing toys! Clutter is another thing that comes with having three pint-sized human beings. Mom space becomes their space!

Alone Time

Having one child is easy, it takes little effort, in my opinion. You can do so many things and be alone for a while; you can take a nap when they nap, you can have a cup of tea and breath, or even shower in privacy! When I had my oldest I was able to do things by myself! Now having three I can’t even make food with out all three of them at my feet like tiny dogs. I won’t even get started on alone time with your better half, we have maybe one date night a month because we don’t get time alone. Our alone time is at eight at night while watching Netflix as we pass out from pure exhaustion.

Can I Super Size That?

Having a bigger family eventually means upgrading to bigger things. Not all items need upgrading but most things you will have to super size it. Example  your car is one thing that is a needed upgrade. Our previous car was a Kia Rondo. It isn’t huge but isn’t as small as a four door Honda Malibu. When I became a mother of three plus the dogs I found it extremely cramped and had to level up my car. I now own a Toyota Sienna, that’s right a mom van. Never in my life have I ever wanted a mom van, but that is the prognosis of having a bigger family.

You also have to Super Size your pantry and fridge capacity. If you have boy’s you know why, if not well lets just say having a bigger family means more mouths to feed. We now have to feed seven mouths (fur babies too), three of which are boy’s! I run out food faster than running out of cloths to wash.

Sorry I’m Late

I use to be a very punctual person! I would arrive to work an hour before my shift started, be on time for birthdays, and never miss a time frame. Now trying to get three deaf little humans to get their butts in gear has made me become less that punctual. It is very rarely that I show up on time for things. I am either ten minutes behind or calling saying that we will be extremely late. Hot mess moms know this trouble!

Asking your children to put shoes on turns into you becoming Godzilla and yelling the question. My family wonders why my daughter has two mismatched socks, it’s because I would rather get out the door and her be alive then worry about the color of socks she happened to find. This also falls into super sizing and space, but shoving all the kids in the car is another problem for being late. One always has to pee right after you buckle them, you have to ask if they are all still buckled when starting the car, and by the time you start to dive off you realize someone forgot their shoes after asking seven thousand times to put them on!

“You have your hands full!”

If there is one thing I can’t stand its strangers having the need to make comments about your rather large family size. I don’t get it as much anymore unless the children are acting up in public but I know it happens behind my back. When I had my youngest I was twenty-two, I always got “Your too young to have three!” or “You sure do have your hands full!”.  Yes having three unruly children can be a handful at times I already know this you don’t need to point it out. As much as I try to appreciate the comments I don’t need a stranger telling me that I have my hand full. What are my hands full of exactly? Is it the endless energy that I wish I could contain and use or is it the fact that they are actually playing with each other despite me saying don’t be so rowdy in public?

But let me tell you something about all these reasons

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Having more children to raise is hard work but it is worth the undeniable and unconditional love you get in return. Having three kids to love is beyond fulfilling even in the worst of times. Yes they make me want to pull my hair out, yes at twenty-four I have started getting grey hairs but at the end of the day my three Jedi’s loving me is the best feeling in the world. They don’t care about the lacking space, the being late or all the other reasons. They care about loving us and us loving them.

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17 reasons why you are winning at MOMing.

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We all have days where we feel like horrible moms. Where nothing is going right and we feel like we are just failing at everything we do. Can’t seem to calm your kids down. Lunch consists of cheese and French fries. Just everything seems to be going wrong, but I am here to tell you how you are actually winning at MOMing. Here is 17 things that prove that you got this mom thing down!

  1. Giving Birth. – This alone deserves an award.
  2. Coming home with the same amount of kids you left with.
  3. Not killing someone when you receive unwanted parenting advice.
  4. Moving the clothes from the washer to the dryer.
  5. Remembering to turn the dryer on.
  6. Drinking an entire cup of coffee, HOT!
  7. Refraining from offering unsolicited advice to a new parent.200-10
  8. Getting a break that isn’t in the bathroom.
  9. Catching your kids puke in your bare hands with no second thought. This is always a mom’s first thought when their kids puke… I’m going to catch this sh*t in my hands.
  10. Not puking when you just caught your kids puke in your hands.th
  11. Showering. We can be honest here, since becoming a mom, you find yourself taking less showers.
  12. Showering alone. We hardly get to do this anymore, that and going pee by ourselves.
  13. At the end of the day, your kids are still alive. It’s hard work keeping little humans alive. Go you!
  14. You feed your kids 3 meals a day. Regardless if it’s French fries and cheese. It’s still food.
  15. Remembering to buy diapers BEFORE you run out.
  16. Despite your lack of sleep, social skills and the fact that you have no life, you didn’t run away.jfgj
  17. You actually got to eat a full meal without having it picked at by your little humans. – This is probably the rarest thing to ever happen because your food is always better than their food even though it’s the same food. So even if this only happens once in a blue moon, you are still winning!

jessie