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My truths about motherhood.

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Being  a mom is amazing and we love it more than anything and would never trade any of it for anything in the world, but lets be honest. Not modest, lets pretend our mom lives are normal kind of honest, I mean brutally honest about how motherhood really is. Here’s my truths

SO. MANY. DIAPERS.

I’m pretty sure the number one thing you do in motherhood is change diapers. You smell, see and wear so much poop that even they guy from that show Dirty Jobs wouldn’t want your job. I’m 99% sure that I used 100+ diapers a month from when Averie was first born until she was about a year and a half . The amount of diapers you use goes down the older they get but not enough to brag about.

Showers alone are a rare occurrence.

You either don’t shower because you are too freaking exhausted or because your kids won’t leave you alone so you can wash yourself. For some reason, it can be difficult to get your kids to take a shower or bath in general but when they hear you are wanting a shower, they are naked in 2.5 seconds flat. Showers alone really are a rare occurrence, that is if you get one at all. Sometimes, you are just too tired, or you forget (Yes, you do forget to shower when you are a mom), or you just don’t want to take one with your kid who insists on you drinking their bathwater tea.

Dirty laundry will overpower you.

If you hated doing laundry before, you’ll REALLY hate it when you have kids. You wouldn’t think that a tiny human could dirty 6 outfits, 3 blankets, 4 receiving blankets and 3 of YOUR outfits in one day, but they most certainly can. It only gets worse when they get older.  Toddler stage has been the worst for me so far. They make bigger messes more often. I miss the days when my baby wasn’t mobile. Sigh. Usually the laundry in my house isn’t washed until there is absolutely nothing else to wear except for a pair of socks that don’t even match.

The famous Mom Guilt.

Mom guilt is real and constant, especially for first time moms. You will feel guilty for a lot…
-Not providing enough for your child.
-Not putting them in daycare and keeping them sheltered.
-Putting them in daycare away from you and at risk of sicknesses and other things.
-Going to work.
-Not going to work and financially contributing to what they need.
Literally anything will give you mom guilt and some days it’s brutal to deal with. Right now, my mom guilt is my kid not eating more nutritional foods. (She’s picky.)

You look like Sh**, but your kid looks adorable.

Your style pretty much goes down the toilet. You start going for comfort instead of stylish. Yoga pants and a tee shirt are suitable for going out to dinner, right? Yoga pants and leggings were my wardrobe for the first year of my daughter life. (Eventually I had to go back to work.) No matter how hideous you look when you have to go out in public, you cannot allow your kid to not look cute. Babies would look cute wearing a paper bag.  I was grocery shopping once with Averie when she was about 4 months old and I dressed her in these cute jean-like legging things with a flower top and little booties and a head band and I was dressed in yoga pants and my 90’s cartoon tee shirt. I remember someone coming up to me and saying, “Oh, she is just the cutest thing ever. I love her outfit…. You look tired.” And replied with, “Thanks! I am tired but I am comfy!”

Everyday you wonder if you are going to lose your sanity.

Kids can make you feel every emotion in just an hour. They know how to break your emotion button… I remember trying to rock my one month old to sleep at 3am and she just kept crying and I was so tired and then started crying with her. Motherhood is a big bucket of emotions and some days are overwhelming to the point of breakdowns. There are days where all your kids seem to want to do is scream and destroy things. There have been many days where I questioned my own sanity. lol  Don’t let any of this scare you though. The happy moments outweigh the  stressful moments.

Little to no social life.

Your social life pretty much disappears. Your baby takes up ALL your time and then some, hence why moms don’t sleep. I lost the majority of my “friends” when I had my baby… Hell, most of them didn’t even come to my baby shower. I’m not upset about it though because if they didn’t want to be in my life when I have a baby, then they weren’t true friends in the first place. I can’t tell you how many people weren’t actually my friends from the beginning.

Children shows/movies become your life.

They will probably be playing in your house 24/7 and even when your kids aren’t watching, you’ll still be watching it. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched all the Doc McStuffins episodes on Netflix. The doc is in and she’ll fix you up… Yes, you will learn the songs and you will sing them often…. That’s not a joke.

Motherhood is hard.

This is the hardest job out there. It’s mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. You’ll have breakdowns, question if you’re a good mom, envy those who have a social life, wish you had real friends that want to be around your kids, and wonder what life would of been like if you didn’t get pregnant (and then have mom guilt for even wondering that). Like I’ve said previously, it’s hard to keep tiny humans alive. Everything about motherhood is hard.

There are A LOT of truths to motherhood that no one really tells you. No one really expresses just how hard motherhood actually is… No one really tells you this stuff, probably because they don’t want to scare you into not having kids, but you should be told because that’s true life. Know this though, yes, being a mom is the hardest ever, but also the most rewarding and fulfilling job ever. It’s the best feeling ever to be a mom and that outweighs all the hard parts of motherhood!

 

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5 Troubles of Having a Big Family

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Having a family of your own is one of the best feelings in the world. Holding your little rug-rats till they eventually grow older is the other best feeling as a mother. If you would have told me in middle school that I was going to be a mom, I probably would have laughed in your face and said some obscured line. If you would have told me I was going to be a mom of three mini-sized Tasmanian devils then I would have probably ran the other.

However with the best feelings in the world, come the problems and obstacles! I never knew raising three children would be one of the hardest tasks I would ever have to face on a day-to-day basis. It is worth it but can be troubling at times. For those who have even bigger family numbers, I applauded you! I would not be able to handle being in your shoes for a day.

I have come up with 5 problems to having a bigger family. None of these are to scare you out of having a big family, by all means the more the merrier!

Space/Clutter

When having a bigger family space becomes an issue. From the living room being converted into the play room to no longer having your own room. Here at the H. household we are a family of five! Even in a two bedroom apartment we are often cramped for space. My living room looks like a war zone of toys that was made by tiny elves. Organization becomes key when having a bigger family, however I lack at the thought of organizing toys! Clutter is another thing that comes with having three pint-sized human beings. Mom space becomes their space!

Alone Time

Having one child is easy, it takes little effort, in my opinion. You can do so many things and be alone for a while; you can take a nap when they nap, you can have a cup of tea and breath, or even shower in privacy! When I had my oldest I was able to do things by myself! Now having three I can’t even make food with out all three of them at my feet like tiny dogs. I won’t even get started on alone time with your better half, we have maybe one date night a month because we don’t get time alone. Our alone time is at eight at night while watching Netflix as we pass out from pure exhaustion.

Can I Super Size That?

Having a bigger family eventually means upgrading to bigger things. Not all items need upgrading but most things you will have to super size it. Example  your car is one thing that is a needed upgrade. Our previous car was a Kia Rondo. It isn’t huge but isn’t as small as a four door Honda Malibu. When I became a mother of three plus the dogs I found it extremely cramped and had to level up my car. I now own a Toyota Sienna, that’s right a mom van. Never in my life have I ever wanted a mom van, but that is the prognosis of having a bigger family.

You also have to Super Size your pantry and fridge capacity. If you have boy’s you know why, if not well lets just say having a bigger family means more mouths to feed. We now have to feed seven mouths (fur babies too), three of which are boy’s! I run out food faster than running out of cloths to wash.

Sorry I’m Late

I use to be a very punctual person! I would arrive to work an hour before my shift started, be on time for birthdays, and never miss a time frame. Now trying to get three deaf little humans to get their butts in gear has made me become less that punctual. It is very rarely that I show up on time for things. I am either ten minutes behind or calling saying that we will be extremely late. Hot mess moms know this trouble!

Asking your children to put shoes on turns into you becoming Godzilla and yelling the question. My family wonders why my daughter has two mismatched socks, it’s because I would rather get out the door and her be alive then worry about the color of socks she happened to find. This also falls into super sizing and space, but shoving all the kids in the car is another problem for being late. One always has to pee right after you buckle them, you have to ask if they are all still buckled when starting the car, and by the time you start to dive off you realize someone forgot their shoes after asking seven thousand times to put them on!

“You have your hands full!”

If there is one thing I can’t stand its strangers having the need to make comments about your rather large family size. I don’t get it as much anymore unless the children are acting up in public but I know it happens behind my back. When I had my youngest I was twenty-two, I always got “Your too young to have three!” or “You sure do have your hands full!”.  Yes having three unruly children can be a handful at times I already know this you don’t need to point it out. As much as I try to appreciate the comments I don’t need a stranger telling me that I have my hand full. What are my hands full of exactly? Is it the endless energy that I wish I could contain and use or is it the fact that they are actually playing with each other despite me saying don’t be so rowdy in public?

But let me tell you something about all these reasons

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Having more children to raise is hard work but it is worth the undeniable and unconditional love you get in return. Having three kids to love is beyond fulfilling even in the worst of times. Yes they make me want to pull my hair out, yes at twenty-four I have started getting grey hairs but at the end of the day my three Jedi’s loving me is the best feeling in the world. They don’t care about the lacking space, the being late or all the other reasons. They care about loving us and us loving them.

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Sunday Sarcasm: How to make friends when you’re a mom with no social life.

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We all know that when we become moms, our social lives start to die and when you have more than one kid, your social life is long gone, six feet under. Those of you that are reading this and saying, “This isn’t true. I talk to people” , sorry, but asking your kid if they pooped and what they are doing a million times a day, is not the social interaction you need. Quit lying to yourself. Here are 5 pieces of advice to help you get your social life back.
1. Gossip.
It’s inevitable, humans love to gossip. Again, quit lying. You know you do. Just start gossiping. Gossip at the grocery store, yoga (Janice isn’t as flexible as she claims to be.), or even at work. You are bound to get some interesting social interaction if you gossip at work.
2. Now, you can lie.
When you are actually out in public and you find yourself in an actual conversation, with actual adults, lie. Lie about what you do and make it more interesting. Lie about what kind of house you live in… You can even lie about having kids. This should really jump start an interesting friendship.

3. Get drunk.
Drunk people seem to attract each other. When two people are drunk, you figure out that you two actually have a lot in common. One: Well, you both decided to get drunk alone. Two: You both get really weird when you’re drunk… Three: You can’t understand what each other is saying because you guys are slurring your words. This can work to your advantage actually. If you say something that you wish you didn’t, it’s okay, they more than likely didn’t hear you anyways.

4. Facebook.
Start drama on facebook in a mom’s group. Lonely bitter mom’s LOVE drama, especially if it’s started on social media. You will for sure make some friends this way.

5. Befriend his Ex’s.
Call up your husband’s ex and talk to her. You have one thing in common right off the bat… Your taste in men which you know can open up a whole variety of convo topics. It’s a bonus if your hubby had a child with this ex.

There you have it. 5 for sure ways to make friends, or at least have a conversation with an adult.

 

DISCLAIMER:
I’ve been doing SUNDAY SARCASM for a while now so y’all should probably get the concept. Everything in my sarcasm posts are obviously SARCASTIC… Well, almost everything… I actually am friends with the mother of my step-daughter, so that worked out for me. LOL

jessie

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Why I’m a bad mom in other’s eyes.

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I can’t tell you how many people so far since being a mom has made me feel like I was a horrible mom. I know, I shouldn’t let others words hurt me, but I was a first time mom and had no idea what I was doing. I’ve learned to not let others opinions affect me that way anymore, but I thought it would be entertaining to tell you all how I am a “Bad Mom” in others eyes, which I’m sure all of you have been made feel this way before too.

I’m a bad mom because I got my kid her shots.

-Last time I checked, I pushed this kid out MY Woo Ha.

You are feeding your baby formula?! She’s going to get sick!!

A family member said this to me. Sad part about it was, I wasn’t producing nearly enough to satisfy her so I had to supplement with formula. But I am horrible because I didn’t just let her starve. Hmmm.

You’re breastfeeding still? You shouldn’t breastfeed after a certain age!

I never actually had this one said to me but I did get sh*t for feeding my kid formula. Funny how You get judged no matter what you do, huh? Ain’t that a Bi*ch?

You shouldn’t go to your baby every time she cries.

My daughter was from the age of 6 months old to a year old when I was being told this… Really…?

You should/shouldn’t put your kid in daycare.

I was told by numerous people that I should just put my daughter in daycare. for a number of reason… One being that “She needs the social interaction…” At one years old? I was made feel bad because I didn’t want to give my BARELY one year old social interaction in a GERM filled daycare center that I couldn’t afford anyways.

You shouldn’t co-sleep with your baby.

I was told when my daughter was 6 or 7 months old that she shouldn’t be sleeping in my room with me. Sometimes she slept right next to me on my bed or in the swing next to my bed, WHICH IS NONE OF ANYONE’S DAMN BUSINESS ANYWAYS.

Well, my baby was doing this at that age, so yours should be too.

First off, just because your kids did/does this, doesn’t mean my kid is ready to. You do realize that they are 2 TOTALLY DIFFERENT kids, right?

You shouldn’t give your baby a pacifier, it’s bad for them.

See, I agree with this to a certain extent… There is an age when the pacifier can do more damage to your child’s teeth than it does to comfort them. My daughter had a pacifier from when she was born which she didn’t really start using until she was like 5 months old, until she was 2. Anything past that age may impair their speech.

Your kid shouldn’t watch T.V. this young.

Bologna. My kids intelligence has a lot to do with what she’s watched on T.V., thank you very much.

There are many more, but you get the point.

Don’t let these kinds of comments affect you. Remember, it’s YOUR child. YOU know what’s best for YOUR child. Being a new mom and not letting these kinds of comments affect you is hard, but kids trust your instincts. Mom-mode comes natural. You got this. If anyone does say these things to you, just say, “Don’t you have a kid? Go make that decision for your own child.”

jessie