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My 4 year old daughter is an empath and it scares me

As my daughter got older, I started to recognize a lot of her empathic traits. She notices things about people that other kids her age don’t. She’s very observant of others body languages and how they talk. She knows instantly just by looking at someone that they’ve had a bad day or that they are sad, especially me. She picks up on my emotions instantly.

Being an empath is a special gift

I’m an empath and super feeler and so is my mom and my grandma and now my daughter is. I love that I can pick up on others emotions by just looking at them or how they say something or even just how the breath. I love being able to feel what the feel so I can help them.

I also really love that I can pick up on someone’s energy. If I pick up on bad energy from someone I’m first meeting, that lets me know I need to be cautious. Yes, they might just be having a hard day and that’s why there’s so much negative energy, but some people are just negative people and will drain you of your positive energy.

Why my daughter being an empath scares me

Being an empath has taken a real mental toll on me. Empath’s not only pick up on others emotions and energies, they take them on and actually feel what the other person is feeling. I could be happy one day and come in contact with someone who isn’t and their energy is off and then I’ll feel how they are feeling.

Doing this for so many years of my life has worsened my anxiety and depression. Picking up on someone else’s emotions can literally cause me to have a panic attack and trust me, it has. Someone who is so negative about everything has so much tension and being near someone who has tension has literally made me throw up.

Empath’s tend to put themselves on the back burner for others needs

More often than not, empath’s will put their feelings, emotions and needs on hold to help others with theirs. It’s just what we do. The way others feel, is more important to us than how we feel.

Putting myself on hold to help others has literally caused me to have a full blown panic attack because I have all this built up emotions and feelings that haven’t been released.

I don’t want her to feel how I’ve felt

The thought of my daughter having the kind of anxiety and depression I have because of being an empath, scares the hell out of me. I don’t want her to ever feel how I’ve felt. I don’t want her to have panic attacks, especially like the ones I have. I don’t want her to feel like her brain is against her like I do.

Being an empath is a gift but also a curse.

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The mommy blogger tag

So I was nominated for this awesome Mommy blogger tag created by Rachel from The coffee Mamma. Thanks girl, for this nomination.

Rules:

  • Thank whoever tagged you and link back to their website.
  • Share the rules in your post.
  • Tag Rachel, The Coffee Mamma.
  • Answer the questions.
  • Tag at least 3-5 Mom Bloggers at the end of your post.

So, obviously you’re a mom, how many kids do you have? Genders? Ages?

I have one biological and she is 3 and a half. I have a 16 year old step son and a 6 year old step daughter

Are your children close in age or further apart in age?

My two youngest are closest in age ( 2 and a half years apart) and my 16 year old is obviously way further in age than his sisters.

Did you have a Vaginal Birth or C Section?

Vaginal birth all the way.

Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?

Pro-Life…. I have my reason that I choose not to discuss because I am not here to offend anyone and their views.

Have you shared your labor story on your blog yet?

I don’t believe I have, which is odd because there are some funny stories about it. Stay tuned for a birth story update….

What is the thing you find most challenging about being a mommy blogger?

I don’t have anything specifically challenging about being a mommy blogger in general but I do have writers block a lot when it comes to blogging in general.

What’s the most challenging thing about being a Mom for you?

I think the most challenging thing is with all my kids is realizing that they are all different. Their feelings, their likes and dislikes and what strategies work with punishment, rewarding and just talking to them. All three are so different. My 3 year old is so stubborn and hard headed so there is no talking to her unless she is ready. My 6 year old is very sensitive and gets her feelings hurt easily. My 16 year old will just shut everyone out when there is something wrong with him. I can usually get him to talk to me but he is like an onion, have to peal him back a layer at a time.

What were you doing when you went into Labor?

Laying in the hospital bed. I was induced. Lol

Baby Stats?

My three year old was 7lbs 4oz and 21 and a half inches long. I am not sure of my step kids. I know, horrible step mom.

Thoughts on circumcision?

I personally think it is a good thing, but I did not have a boy so I never looked into it.

What were your first thoughts when you found out you were pregnant?

“Oh, shit!” My pregnancy was a total surprise and I was terrified but ecstatic at the same time.

What’s your child’s favorite toy?

She has many favorites in her different phases, but right now it’s her go fishing game.

What is one thing you miss about before you became a Mom?

Most mom’s will say sleep, but I never really slept before I had my daughter. I don’t really miss anything. I didn’t feel like my life meant anything before I had her.

What do you love most about being a Mom?

Watching her grow and learn new things. Also watching her little personality develop more and more.

What do you dislike most about being a Mom? (really couldn’t bring myself to use the word hate)

The constant battle I have with my 4 year old going to bed. The teenage attitude with my teenager and the lying with my 6 year old.

What is the thing you love most about being a mommy blogger?

I love the raw honesty of being a mommy blogger because motherhood is raw and unfiltered. I don’t care how some moms act like their life is perfect with kids, because I know they are lying. I like to blog about the raw facts about motherhood to let other struggling moms know that they aren’t alone.

Whether blogging is your full-time job or not would you change your full-time job? What would you do, what’s your dream job?

Blogging is not my full-time job even though I wish it was. I am a tech support specialist for a security and I hate it. I don’t hate being tech support, but I hate the company I work for.

What are your fave diapers to use?

I have used many. When my daughter was little, I used Luvs. When she got a little older, I used Parent’s choice because they seemed to work best at that time and then when she started moving more, Huggies little movers were the ones I stuck with.

Was your partner a big help or were they just in the way the first few weeks after giving birth?

This is a hard question for me… He wasn’t really a big help for the first year and a half of her life. I was so sleep deprived and got no help.

What is the last thing your child cried about?

Literally because I would not give her a third cupcake. -_-

What’s the one thing that puts a smile on your child’s face?

Food. Literally food all day, everyday.

What surprised you most about being pregnant?

How many friends I lost when I became pregnant. Blessing in disguise really.

How did your partner hold up during labor?

He was asleep for most of it and then when it was time to push, my mom woke him up to hold my leg…

What was the first symptom that made you think you’re pregnant?

Odd story really. I was at a bar with my babies father, and I ordered a glass of wine and I did not have the taste for it…. Which was odd, because I LOVE wine. That’s when he suggested I take a pregnancy test and BAM, I was pregnant.

How did you tell your partner? How did they react?

My ex- partner was with me when I took the test.

What old wives tales were you told during your pregnancy?

I was told the whole heartburn and hair thing which is not true because I had terrible heartburn at the end of my pregnancy and she was born with little hair.

Who do your kids look like?

I think my daughter looks more like me and obviously his kids look more like him than me. His son looks exactly like him and his 6 year old looks like her mother. The funny thing is, all three kids look alike so much even though they all have different moms.

What unusual dreams did you have while pregnant? Did you have any after giving birth?

I would have dreams of having twins or that the baby had something wrong with them. Terrible dreams.

When did you first feel your baby kicking?

The first time I really felt her kick was when I was driving in my car, blasting Aerosmith- Don’t want to miss a thing. Every since then, she would go nuts when I played music.

Do you use medication?

She doesn’t take any medication, but I do and I won’t go into detail about that other than saying I use inhalers for asthma.

Any funny ultrasound stories?

She would hide her face at almost every ultrasound appointment. Funny thing was, she would hide her face with her feet.

Did you get their ears pierced? how young were they?

I still haven’t gotten her ears pierced. I thought about doing it when she was younger but she went through a phase where she would like to play with her ears.

What did you dislike about being pregnant?

I didn’t mind any of it really, except for the last month. My morning sickness only lasted like 2 months. I never really had any extensive pains. Just uncomfortable most the time. The last month was terrible. I was huge, couldn’t fit into anything, had severe heartburn, tailbone pain to the point that I would cry sitting down and standing up.

How many people did you know that we’re pregnant at the same time as you?

Two oddly enough. literally like 2 weeks away from my due date. Now, my daughter calls my friend, Gina’s son who is about 2 weeks older, her boyfriend.

Did you have a midwife or a doula?

No I didn’t, but I wish I did. It actually kinda makes me sad, because I do not want anymore children for personal reasons.

What is the cutest thing your child does?

Her weird “Shake and spank” dance. She will shake back and forth while spanking her butt with both hands. LOL

Breastfeed or Formula?

I I breastfed and supplemented for the first 5 months but she was just too hungry and my milk would just not come in enough no matter what I did. I also had a lot of stress during this time. I would not say Breast is best because FED is best. Yes, breast milk will always be more natural but formula is so advanced now that it has all the nutrients that a baby needs.

What’s your favorite thing to do with a babe?

Snuggle and tickle them.

Was your labor easy?

Hell yes. I did not feel a thing. Stay tuned for my birth story

How long did it take after giving birth until it sank in that you’re actually a Mom now?

From when I pushed her out to them laying her on my chest. I was waiting to be a mom.

How often do you have a Date night?

Define date night… I sometimes go get carne asada fries by myself… That count?

How often do you see your Mommy friends?

For the first year of her life, I didn’t really hang out with any mommy friends. I see my few mommy friends pretty often actually.

How old were you when you had your first child?

I had her at 25. I became a step mom at 22.

Do you vaccinate your kids?

I sure do.

Was babe a good feeder when they were first born?

She latched pretty good but I did not produce enough so she was always on the boob…

If you breastfed how long did it take for your milk to come in? Did you use any tricks?

It took about a week for my milk to fully come in but I never produced a lot. I tried every trick in the book to get my milk up but nothing worked for me.

How did your family react to you being pregnant?

Well…. Some said, “Shit, that sucks…” (because they didn’t like the baby daddy) and some were excited and were so happy for me because they knew how badly I wanted to be a mom.

Did you share the name before birth? Does their name have a story behind it?

Yes I shared her name before birth. So we named her Averie because I liked the sound of the name. Story behind her first name: I was working at walmart as a cashier years before I got pregnant. and I heard a customer call their adorable littler girl that name and it stuck with me ever since. Her middle name is a hyphened name. Particia-Lee; Patricia after her Dad’s late mother’s name and Lee for after my late Grandpa.

Did your baby take to the crib? Do you co-sleep? Did you sleep train?

SO for the first like 6 months, she slept either in bed with me, or in a swing and rock N play next to my bed. Then I sleep trained her for the crib because she’s too crazy to sleep with.

When do you do most of your blogging? Do you have a routine? Are you actually able to stick to it? If so how lol?

I do most of my blogging during my work from home job. LOL I will get ideas through out the day and I will jot them down on my phone and then put them all together from the hours of 4AM TO 12:30PM. Lol I did have a routine but then mom life gets in the way, work gets in the way and then I get writers block, but I try and make sure I at least get one post in a week. I try to write posts in advance and schedule them accordingly. What I have found helps keep you blogging consistently is having weekly topics. For example, I do Friday rants.

Do you involve your children in your blogging world? How? Do you hide them from it as to protect them?

None of my kids are really interested in my blogging life. I have a teenage BOY who ignores everyone. My girls are too little to care, really.

What’s you’re a favorite way to spend time treating yourself or indulging in self-care?

I love watching Ghost Adventures alone in my room in the dark. I like to use essentials for self care.

What was your most unusual craving during pregnancy?

Broccoli. I loved every kind of broccoli. My entire pregnancy.

What’s was the hardest part about being pregnant for you?

The tailbone pain at the end of my pregnancy was unbearably painful.

How do you make time for yourself?

I don’t. My daughter stays up later than I do. I will sometimes lock myself in the bathroom while I pee just to get kid free peace. lol

What’s the funniest thing your kid has done?

Right now, it’s her shake and spank.

Did you run into any Postpartum Health concerns?

Yes. I also had depression before I got pregnant and a lot of things happened during and after pregnancy so I was bound to have postpartum depression.

Do you consider your niche strictly mommy & baby or do you branch out?

I branch out. It’s more of a mommy/ lifestyle blog / everything blog. Lol I blog what I feel.

Do you have a Bad Habit?

Oh, I have many. Swearing is a big one and no I am not working on it. None of my kids swear in front of me or other adults so I don’t see a problem.

Did you nest?

I nested my WHOLE pregnancy. I am naturally a clean freak anyways. Getting pregnant just made it worse. Lol

Did you pack a labour bag? What was the most useful thing you packed?

Yes I did and I would have to say PJ’s and slippers were most useful. lol

Are you done having kids?

Yes yes yes yes yes. After this pregnancy and the situation I was in, I an not opened at all to having another one. NOPE.

Do you Meal Plan?

If by meal plan you mean planning dinner for that same day, then yes, I meal plan. lol

Did you Baby Proof?

Oh, I baby proofed EVERYTHING. I was a first time paranoid mom. It didn’t really help though, she got passed most the baby proofing. lol

What are you and your children into right now?

Swimming and watching movies together.

Does your family budget? What are the top 3 things you consider when budgeting?

I budget… I plan for everything from bills, to food to extras we might need and some fun.

What’s one thing you would have done differently if you had the chance?

Um, not got married.

What is the one thing you’d never change?

My past because it made me who I am today and it made me realize my strength.

Someone you trust 100% offers to watch your kids for the night what are you doing?

Go play bingo. lol

What chore do you hate the most?

Doing dishes. I despise dishes.

My Nominees:

Demi Mitchell from The Lupie Momma
Amy from The adventures of a mom with a wife
Toya from The Life with LaToya
Sarah from Momin’ in the real world

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I am at a loss with my three year old

I know this is probably most three year old’s but I have been struggling with mine for over a month. She has been beyond moody, ruthless, stubborn and hard headed. It is a battle with her about EVERYTHING. When I say everything, I literally mean everything.

Dinner time

She will demand food all day and if she doesn’t get what she wants, she throws a huge tantrum. She says she’s hungry all the time but when it’s dinner time, she wants nothing to do with it, even if it’s food she loves. Las night was one of the worst nights. I didn’t let her snack all day like she wanted so she should of been hungry by dinner but she refused to eat more than one bite. My mom even tried to get her to eat by hand feeding her and she just spit it out and screamed no. After multiple attempts of trying to get her to eat, I gave up and stuck her in time out for not listening and being rude to everyone, which lead to a meltdown.

Bedtime

Every single night is a battle with getting her to lay down, no matter how tired she is. She tells me things like, “I can’t sleep!”, “I don’t like my bed!”, I’m scared of my bed” ( even though she is not) or she’ll just say straight NO to me. Last night was one of the worst nights ever because of the melt down over dinner. She would not stay in her bed. She kept jumping on her bed, throwing things, yelled at me, screamed, told me she didn’t like me, and just refused to lay down. This lasted for about 2 hours and got to the point where I had to just ignore her because anything I did or say was not working.

Not getting her way

Oh boy, if she doesn’t get her way when she wants it, the world has ended. She screams and stomps her feet and tells me that it isn’t fair while crossing her arms (This she picked up from someone else’s kid a while back.-_-).
There is absolutely no reasoning with her. If it’s not her way when she wants, her whole day is ruined.

Her favorite things to tell me lately

  • I don’t like you
  • You’re mean
  • No way Jose
  • Too bad, so sad
  • Want me to pinch you?
  • No no no no

Everyone keeps telling me that the way she’s acting is a three year old thing and that she’ll grow out of it, but I keep thinking, what if she doesn’t? What if I am stuck with this as a teenager?! Lord help me. I need all positive thoughts and wine sent my way for this child.

Any of you mama’s going through the same thing? Please tell me I am not the only one losing my sanity!

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How to work from home when you have a three year old demon

Since November of last year, I’ve been working from my bedroom doing tech support for a security company and I love the fact that I don’t have to leave the house, but boy did I underestimate how hard it would be to do being a mom who is always home with kids. Especially my threenager. If you are a dedicated reader, you’ll remember a post I did months ago about the Pros and Cons of working from home. I love that I get to be around my daughter more but being around her more makes me want a break more. This post is more as an update from my previous one. So, my daughter knows that I work from home and knows my hours and when to be quiet, for the most part…but sometimes, she’s an absolute demon and will find any reason to scream like a banshee when I am on the phone with a customer. I’ve had to seriously prepare like it was the zombie Apocalypse on my work days when dealing with her. I don’t have a babysitter, because I don’t want to pay one, if you’re wondering. Here’s what I do:

SNACKS SNACKS SNACKS

If you really can’t get a babysitter or don’t want one like me, make sure you stock up on snacks at your work station so if your kid is in the room with you, you can keep them fed easily. I work early in the morning, so my daughter will wake up when it’s breakfast time and I can’t always just get off phones to get her cereal. I keep granola bars, fruit snacks, and any other healthy breakfast-like snack near me during work hours. I now have a mini fridge in my room, so I can keep a small glass of milk and juice in there too. Oh, a tv tray is a great thing to keep in there too.

Child gates

Since my daughter is only three, there is no way in hell she can roam the house alone. She will destroy it. So, I put a child gate up in the hallway blocking off the living room, making so she’ll only be able to go into my room or her room. She hates the gate but doesn’t fight me about it too often. I just tell her if she goes in the living room by herself, the cats will eat her. Don’t judge me, it works.

Entertainment

I don’t know if tablets are your thing, but that’s what keeps my daughter the most occupied. I also bring coloring books and crayons in my room as well to keep her entertained. Since I have the rest of the house blocked off, my daughter can only go in her room or mine so if she gets bored in mine, she’ll go play with her toys in hers.

WIRELESS

If you work from home and are attached to your computer by a headset, I HIGHLY recommend getting a wireless headset or a headset with a really long cord so you can wipe your kids butt. No joke, it was a nightmare before I had a super long cord.

I’M SOOO THIRSTY

Stock up on juices and water in your work space, because kids are always so thirsty and want drinks when you are in the middle of something. For whatever reason, when my daughter says she’s thirsty, she does not stop saying it until I give her something. So I keep waters mainly, right next to me for that reason.

Working from home is awesome, but it can be difficult when you don’t have a babysitter or when your kid is a demon like mine, but these tips are how I handle it and it turns out alright like 90% of the time.

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The things my daughter says to get her way

Apparently, toddlers know how to word things to get their way and they’re good at it. My daughter is pro. I thought I’d share some of the things she tells me to persuade me into giving her what she wants.

I never have a clean bathroom

So, Averie insists that she go potty in MY bathroom. I don’t let the kids use my bathroom because they destroy it. I am always cleaning something off the walls, toothpaste off the counter, and trash off the floor so I just don’t let them in there. Well, Averie will just barge in my room and walk right in my bathroom. When I tell her to go use the other bathroom, here are her responses:

  • I’m about to pee in my panties so I have to pee in your bathroom!
  • Mumbles…
  • But the other bathroom stinks (She ain’t wrong though)
  • But I CAN’TTTT!

    She is so dramatic.

Public Restrooms

So, I think both my girls have a thing with checking out the public restrooms. No matter where we go, they seems to always have to pee, even if they didn’t drink anything and went before we even left the house. Never fails, Averie ALWAYS has to pee when we’re out in public. Some of her reasons for always going into a public bathroom are as followed:

  • (Again) I’m going to pee in my panties
  • Um, uh… I drank sooo much juice (Even though she didn’t)
  • My hands are sticky and I need to wash them (Which they aren’t, she just likes the hand dryer thing)
  • Because…. just because.

Extra food

She is ALWAYS wanting snacks. Like one snack after another like she hasn’t eaten in weeks. I know she’s growing, but there should be a limit on how many fruit snacks one three year old can eat in 10 minutes. I have to limit her because she eats when she’s bored. Her reason’s for extra food are:

  • But I am soooo HUNGRY *As she rubs her stomach*
  • The buggies in my tummy are so hungry and if you no feed them, they eat me
  • I LIKE FOOOOD
  • And the most popular, I’M STILL HUNGRY!

She tries to make deals with us

So, I dread taking my three year old to any store with me. Sometime’s she great, but most of the time, she is a demon, but for some reason she is always asking to go to the store. When I tell her no or that I don’t need to go to the store, she then tries to bargain or sweet talk me into taking her.

  • I will be good if we go to the store
  • I wanna go to the store so I not cry
  • But it’ll make me happy like this, see *Cheesy grin*
  • But you’re my bestest friend and I like going with you.

She thinks she’s clever… Well, she actually kind of is because she gets away with half of this. Sometimes her arguments are pretty valid so I don’t have anything more to say to her. How is it that three years old’s act like demons but get what they want anyways????

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Three year old’s and what they do when you’re not looking

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My husband has always said our three-year- old is a ninja. Anytime I left, I always came home to something ruined, or destroyed because of our daughter. I argued with him because our daughter never got away with that kind of stuff when I was home-I paid that close attention to her. So, she never really got into things on my watch… Until recently.

I think she caught on to the fact that I watch her closer (Way closer) than anyone else and she got quicker and sneakier at doing things she isn’t suppose to do. Here is how sneaky my three-year-old has become because of me.

 

Red Lipstick

Averie and I were in my room watching T.V., she was sitting on my bed with one of her toys, watching PJ Masks. I walked out for not even 3 minutes to get a snack and drinks for us, and when I come back in, I sit on the bed and she’s in the bathroom washing her hands. I ask her to come out and when she does, she walks out all nonchalant, with bright red lipstick all over her face, eyes, stomach, legs and arms. I asked her, “What on earth is on your face?!” With a little smirk, she replied, “There’s nothing on my face.” In a matter of three minutes, she managed to find a tube of my liquid lipstick and cover pretty much her whole body in it. It took days to get it all off of her. 

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Dish Soap

One day, I was sitting on my bed folding clothes and Averie was in her room playing…So I thought. I keep my door wide open and her room is right next to mine so I should of seen her leave her room… but I didn’t. My husband was outside, working on my car and when he walks in, he finds our daughter at the kitchen sink doing dishes with an entire bottle of dish soap. It was a brand new bottle that hadn’t even been used yet and she dumped out the entire bottle into the sink of three plastic bowls that were already clean before she got to them. There were so much bubbles, that they were still present in the sink hours later. 

Vaseline 

One day, Averie said she had to pee (Don’t know why, but she always insists on telling me before she actually goes to the bathroom), so I tell her to go and to not play in my in my bathroom… I don’t know why I thought she would actually listen this time, but I did. She was in there for 5 minutes and when I went to go get her out, she had gotten into my Vaseline and put it all over her face and in her hair and topped it off with putting 4 bows in the front of her hair. After that, she gets in my bed, full of Vaseline and falls asleep.

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Snack Queen

All this girl wants is snacks. I swear, she just thinks of me as her snack bitch. She won’t eat lunch or dinner hardly ever, but she can eat snacks all day, everyday. The other day, she had already had a string cheese, a granola bar and fruit snacks, all within an hour and of course, she wanted more. I told her no more for right now and then she disappeared into her room. I go in there after about 5 minutes, because she was being quiet, and find her eating more fruit snacks and crackers… I don’t even know how she got them. All the snacks are up in a high cupboard in the kitchen and I was in the living room the whole time and didn’t hear her at all.

My three-year-old has become a master ninja if she’s figured out how to sneak around me. I notice everything. 

Tell me about your toddlers and their sneakiness.

Jessie