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The world doesn’t have a shortage of dumbasses, that’s for sure

You’d think that at this point with how everything is going in the world, that nothing would baffle, shock or even catch me off guard but shit still does.

This world is filled with ignorant, selfish and just downright misguided people. I see it everyday and it’s become the normal until someone surpasses the normal and goes out of their way to disturb my peace for no reason.

For the last 10 years, I’ve had no peace in my life. No moments of serenity where my mind is just clear of unnecessary worry… I got to a point in my life where I just wanted needed peace in my life and I knew what I needed to do to get it. I needed to cut out the things that were hindering my inner peace. I needed to put myself and my mental health first for once and not the feelings of others.

Why the hell is it that when I finally find peace in my life, it’s got to be disrupted by those who are fixated on what’s going on in my life?! I don’t bother anyone. I don’t talk ill on anyone. I don’t push myself in anyone’s life. Why the hell can’t grown adults do the same?!

I literally have people in their 40s disturbing my peace for no good reason. I have people who should be enjoying peace themselves, trying to cause drama in my life over things that aren’t even their business and over things that they purposely searched for!

To whom it may concern, (because I know you search for my blog to find out what’s going on in my life)

Leave me alone. Leave my family alone. Leave my peace alone. Keep the thought of me out of your mind and my name out of your mouth. Stop talking about me like a pathetic child to whom we have in common, because they always tell me. I stopped talking to you for a reason and one of the reasons being that I FINALLY NEEDED PEACE. I don’t push myself in your life. I don’t talk about you like a high schooler like you do about me. I don’t care what you’re doing. Just let me have the peace that you took away from me for so many years. You don’t get the choice to be in my kids’lives and you also don’t have the right to try and get the other parent to allow you in my kids life either. It’s called mutual respect. Plain and simple, don’t look me up. Don’t look my blog up. Don’t ask about me, just LEAVE ME BE.

Sincerely, a really sick and tired of your drama, me.

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Are you enabling someone?

I don’t know how I’m getting these random ideas for blog posts lately, probably because I am quarantined in my house with my own thoughts running wild. Today’s topic is enablers.

There are many different kind of enablers. What is an enabler you ask?

An enabler is someone who is not helping a situation. It’s someone who is allowing the bad things/actions to continue. Here are some examples:

1. You find out that your grown ass kid whom is living in your house is on drugs. You see them going downhill and doing absolutely nothing positive for their life. They get to the point where they are overdosing, lying and stealing. This is the point where you need to take action and kick them out of your house. If you don’t, all you’re doing is giving them a roof to where they can do their drugs and take advantage of you underneath it. You’re an enabler.

2. You go to the doctor’s with your significant other and the doctor tells them that they are overweight and very unhealthy and it can become life-threatening if they do not change their ways, but you’re enabling them by not helping them get on the right track. You’re enabling them by going out and getting them fattening food. You’re enabling them if you’re telling them that they are beautiful the way that they are. You’re an enabler.

3. So you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is very toxic for you. They are verbally, mentally and emotionally and physically abusive, but you stay. You don’t tell anyone the truth about what’s really going on, and you stay with them. You’re enabling their behavior by not standing up to them and getting yourself out of that toxic situation. You’re making them think that it’s okay for them to treat you like you’re trash.

Tough love and ultimatums

Being in any one of these situations is hard, I know, trust me, but you’re not doing them any favors by enabling their behavior and their ways of living and you’re definitely not doing yourself any favors by doing that either. Tough love and ultimatums people, that’s what we need to do. Whatever they choose to do after is their decision, and you should not feel bad in any way.

This is my two cents for the day.

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Friendships don’t mean much anymore I guess

I know, I know. I haven’t been posting as much, but I have been sick as hell off and on for the last couple of months. I have also been really battling my depression after a few events that happened, but I am back and here to stay.

Friendships don’t mean much I guess

I’ve been battling with myself about this for weeks now. I’ve been trying to talk myself into there being a logical reason why… but then I found out the truth..

When I was younger, 16 or 17, I dated this guy for over a year. We were friends for years before we even dated and remained good friends after we broke up. He’s been over with me and my ex and hung out. I’ve done photos for him and I even did a free photoshoot for him and his new wife.

He’s been in my life for over 10 years and we remained friends… So I thought, until I didn’t get an invite to their wedding. I kept telling myself that she’s probably uncomfortable with it but then multiple people told me that if she was uncomfortable with me being around him, then she shouldn’t have been okay with me doing their pictures.

I found out from someone who is also going to his wedding, why I wasn’t invited… Apparently certain family members didn’t think it was a good idea to invite me. Yeah, not taking into account that him and I have been friends for a lot of our lives and also not taking into account that I never did anything to any of them for them to dislike me so much.

Moral of the story

I did a photo shoot for my Ex and his new wife for free because I have been friends with him for over 10 years and because I was happy he found his person only to be hurt by not even being invited to his reception. I guess friendship doesn’t really mean shit to anyone anymore.

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I used to work with pedophiles

Guys, I am disgusted and just appalled about something I found out this week. Last year, I worked for a place called, CaptionCall.. I liked working there until I was treated like shit. You can read about my experience by clicking here. I found out MORE disturbing things about this place, like the fact that the company doesn’t care about the safety of others that work there…

Apparently they hire sex offenders

I use to work with a guy named Ronald Kirsh… him and I worked the same shift and he would walk past me every morning and talk to me. Lucky for me, it never got any further than a good morning here and there. I’m pretty sure it’s because I have a resting bitch face and he thought I was scary.
Here’s the story. in 2013, Ronald Kirsh was arrested in an FBI sting for trying to lure in a 13-year-old girl to have sex with him. 13 FUCKING YEARS OLD. He is a 59 year old man (then, 53). The FBI had been investigating him for over a year… Pretty disgusting, right?
Click here for the news article about it.

Apparently CaptionCall ignores background checks

Yeah, they hired him KNOWING that. Knowing his history and what he tried to do! I worked in a SEXUAL HARASSMENT FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT with a disgusting man who tried to rape a child… LIKE WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK CAPTIONCALL?! Other people that I worked with had encounters with this guy. They were harassment by this guy. He would make sexual comments about the young girls bending over. There are 17 and 18 year olds working for CaptionCall and they made it an unsafe environment by hiring this piece of shit and covering it up. They either didn’t give him a background check or just ignored what was on his… They finally fired him because someone was brave enough to report what was happening, because Ronald was too stupid and continued with his sex offending. This still enrages me though, because I WORKED WITH HIM AND DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE REALLY WAS.

You have a right

I had a right as does everyone else that works there to know how the hiring process works and CaptionCalls HR department refused to release that information. Yeah, pretty sneaky, right? Just know that YOU DO HAVE A RIGHT to know how the hiring process works and honestly, you have a right to know who you are working with when it comes to situations like this. CaptionCall is suppose to prevent sexual harassment and instead they hired a pedophile.

From a mother’s view

Now, this enrages me even more as a mother. Kids right out of High School work for CaptionCall… YOUNG KIDS. I have two young girls and this guy was obviously somewhat intelligent, because he was a very successful man and use to be a college professor AND he was about to somehow get past his record and get a job where young kids worked. What if he did have interest in me? What of he had so much interest in me that he found out more about my life and found out that I have two young girls? There are so many what if’s about this situation!

Dear CaptionCall,

I am ashamed to have ever worked for a place that obviously has no standards and doesn’t care about the safety of their employees. I am so happy that I got out of there when I did and y’all are DAMN lucky Ronald did not mess with me, because y’all would have a lawsuit on your hands for hiring a pedophile in a supposedly sexual harassment free zone and putting everyone’s safety in danger.

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Friday Rant- Loss triggers love…?

I saw a quote on google that irked me. Something I don’t understand. The quote was “Crazy how loss triggers love.” This bothers me a lot. Like a lot. It is sad that someone can take for granted the amazing they have in front of them and not show any real love, but as soon as they lose that person, an epiphany hits them and they instantly love you more than anyone…

Years of pain

I spent years trying to make someone that I loved wholeheartedly with everything I was, to love me even just a little bit in return. I spent years hurting because I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I spent years wondering of I will ever be good enough. I doubted myself and my gut. Anyone know what it feels like to love with your whole being and soul to not be loved an ounce in return? Yeah, worst kind of pain I have ever experienced.

I view love differently

I never pictured love that way, but now my idea of love is so different. It angers me that we have people in this world who ruin the idea of love. It angers me that my innocent idea of love was ruined. It angers me that my love was taken for granted. I use to watch sappy love movies and cry because of how cute the love was between two people. Now, when I watch those same movies, I cry because I feel that the kind of love they are portraying is misleading… Yes, I know that people have this kind of love, but after my love being thrown down, stepped on and spit on, I don’t have a real positive look on love anymore.

Loss triggers love…?

I don’t think loss triggers love…. I think loss triggers desperation… The ones who sat and watched someone love them unconditionally and didn’t do a thing in return, were just comfortable being loved and taken care of… Loss can’t trigger love, because if the love was real love and not pretend, no one would lose anyone…

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Friday Rant- I do not understand phone companies

WARNING: Really long vent

A few weeks ago, I cracked my phone screen… First phone I’ve EVER cracked. The way it cracked just made it worse. I’ve dropped my phone on the street, accidentally thrown it across the room and it never cracked. I was sitting outside on my porch and it slips from my pocket onto the concrete and shattered my screen. It literally slipped inches and it freaking cracked.

I am on my second mom’s phone plan so I asked her if I could get an upgrade and she said that it was okay, so we called the phone company to see if I could get a specific phone and to see if her account is eligible and we were told it was by one representative and we were also told my another that my current phone was paid off. So once I was given the okay, to go in to the store and get my new phone with no down payment and to only pay taxes, that’s what I did only to be told by someone in the store that her account wasn’t eligible to get the phone I wanted because she didn’t have enough credit and that I would have to pay a $300 down payment AND that I still owe on my current phone, which is NOT what were were told on the phone.

We then made another call to the phone company to see why we were told two different things and they confirmed that they guy in the store was correct. I was so upset because my phone has a giant ass crack and started turning my screen blue. The rep we spoke to that time told us what phone I did qualify for and what there was enough credits for, which was the next generation of the phone I already had so I was okay getting that phone. Because of the miscommunication, this representative offered to do overnight shipping for free because this phone was no longer in the stores, with me only paying taxes which was only like $25. Cool. It was Thursday of last week that he made this order but he informed me that I wouldn’t get it Friday, but I would get it Saturday instead (Which it totally not overnight shipping), the only problem was, I was going to be in Utah on Saturday. He told me to have it shipped to the address of where I would be staying because he was positive I was going to get it on Saturday so I gave him that address. I thought all my issues were solved right then and there….He told me to wait for the tracking number so I did…. Friday evening came around and I was on my way to Utah and still no tracking number…

We had called the phone company for a third time wondering why I hadn’t gotten a tracking number when I was suppose to receive the phone the next day. We were then informed that it can take 24 to 48 hours just to process the order and also found out that they don’t deliver phones on Saturday when were were told otherwise by the same company, different representative… I was getting a little mad at this point because I was having a phone being shipped to a different state that I was only going to be in until Sunday.afternoon. We asked if I could just change the shipping address to my home address and the rep told us that we can do that only when we get a tracking number. I asked her if I could call back and have them change it when I got that tracking number and she told me yes.

At this point, I was getting a massive head ache from this

Fast forward to Saturday morning at 12am… I get the tracking number at freaking midnight and it says est, time of delivery was Monday… I called in right after I got it and got someone who could not speak good English and kept saying “UM” after every other word. I told her that I wanted to change the shipping address on the order and she freaking tells me that they can’t do that because it has already shipped! LIKE WHAT THE HELL!!! I was so furious at this point. I asked her just to cancel my whole order and I would reorder for my home address and she said that she can’t do that either because her system is down. I was fuming. I was having a phone being delivered to a state on a day that I was not going to be there and was lied to about 4 times already. I demanded to speak to a supervisor and they said they couldn’t do anything right then either so they gave a $50 credit off the bill for the miscommunication and for all the issues. He then says he’s going to call the stores in my area to see if any of them have this phone even after I told him that no store carries it anymore.

The next day, they called me back and told me that they were able to cancel it and reprocess another order for me and have it shipped to my home address. They also promised me a refund of the payment I made and to put some of the credits back on the account because of all the lies we were told. Well, this only gets worse from here…Another order was processed and I was told to go into my emails and do the E-sign thing. Well, I never got the email… I called a few hours later because my order can’t be fully processed unless I sign that thing… Turns out, the chick who couldn’t speak English put my email address in wrong when I never gave it to her… She was just copying it from what was on file… I finally signed the e signature thing because a manager sent it to the right email and he said he would follow up after I got the phone which should be on Tuesday… Well, Monday night rolls around and still no tracking number for the second order.

We call AGAIN, at this point, we lost count of how many times we called and how many people we talked to. We also noticed on the bill that they were trying to charge us the full amount for the phone and no one could tell us why. We talked to a woman who didn’t really seem interested and wouldn’t even let us talk and the call was disconnected… We call back and get someone who DOESN’T SPEAK ENGLISH. Told him the whole story and he just kept saying that I’ll get the phone tomorrow and that he’s having a supervisor work on it. How the hell did he know when it would arrive if there was no tracking number?! We then asked for his name and badge number and then requested a supervisor. We get another person that did not speak English and this guy did not give two shits and could not answer any of our questions. He just kept saying that someone will call us back in 24 to 48 hours. Well, I wasn’t having that. I told him to find a real solution now because at this point, it had been almost a week since we had ordered the first phone. We then asked him for a badge number and he said they aren’t allowed to give that out, which is a lie because we had gotten them from everyone we talked to… He then said he would text us the info… I blew up because he lied to us. I demanded a different supervisor and then he hung up on us.

We called back and got someone who listened to us but could not answer why they were charging us full price for the phone. He also couldn’t tell us why the previous rep said we were going to for sure get the phone tomorrow when there was no tracking number yet.

Moral of the story, PHONE COMPANIES SUCK AND THEY LIE JUST TO GET YOU OFF THE PHONE. I don’t need to release the name of the company because eventually I got my phone, the billing issue has been solved and all is good, I just needed to vent because that was a terrible experience and a whole lot of lies in less than a week.