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How to drive Mama Crazy in 5 easy steps: Husband Edition

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My kids drive me absolutely crazy, but so does my husband… Sometimes more than my kids do. Some of the things he does, my kids don’t even do. Which is probably why he drives me crazy more than my kids do sometimes. So, I definitely couldn’t leave him out of this series. Haha!

ONE:

My husband thinks it’s okay to leave trash where ever he is at, even if it’s inches away from the garbage can. My 2-year- old doesn’t even do this. He’ll also leave  dirty dishes everywhere sometimes. Cups of coffee in glass mugs get left outside and also in his car along with dirty plates with stuck on food.

TWO:

When the TV is on, no matter what is on it, he’ll ignore anything and everything I say to watch it. Sometimes he’ll act like he’s listening, but when I ask him what I said, he’ll have no idea whatsoever, even if I was sitting right next to him. He says he doesn’t do it on purpose…. Mhmmm. He gets distracted by the TV anytime time it’s on too. Like instantaneously get’s distracted, no matter what’s on! He’ll even stop to watch Daniel Tiger when our daughter is watching it.

THREE:

His time management is terrible!! He’ll go to work on a car and then tell me, “Oh, not too much longer. About 30 minutes, probably less.” Which really means, I have no idea how long, I’m just throwing a random time out there, knowing it’s going to be over 2 hours. He does this all the time about anything he does, even things he’s done a million times and should know how long it takes by this time.  This makes it impossible to plan for anything around the things he does.

FOUR:

It doesn’t bother me anymore that he puts his dirty clothes on the floor, but what really bugs me is when he puts his clean clothes on the floor with or next to his dirty ones. So when I clean the room, I will just stick all of the clothes that are on the floor (Assuming that they are dirty) in his hamper and then he’ll ask me why his dirty and clean clothes are both in his hamper. Really… BECAUSE YOU HAD THEM TOGETHER ON THE FLOOR.

FIVE:

His clutter! His clutter drives me crazy like no other. He’ll put things all over the house where they don’t belong. I am cleaning his clutter every day. Just the other day, I took a whole pile of his work papers off the DVD shelf and handed them to him. The next day, he put those same papers on the kitchen table where our daughter can reach them. I handed them to him again and this time he stuck them in a folder…. and then put them right back on the kitchen table. Literally nothing in our house looks organized because he sticks everything where it doesn’t belong. And he wonders why he can never find what he’s looking for or why his things get ruined by our daughter.

 

Don’t take any of this out of context, I love my husband, he just really drives me crazy… like 90% of the time.

Let’s hear your stories.

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How to drive Mama Crazy in 5 easy steps: Teenager Edition.

 

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Honestly, I’m surprised that my 15-year-old step son hasn’t caused me to day drink yet! I swear, anything I say to this boy goes in one ear and out the other instantly. Getting this kid to take important things seriously is an ongoing battle. Him doing anything his parents ask him to do when they ask him to do it seems hopeless. Here’s how this boy drives me crazy:

ONE:

Last week, I gave Dom his TV back after him getting it taken away for a while and I asked him to clean off his TV stand so he could put his TV on it because I was having the cable guy come the next morning to run cable in his room. Well, the next day, while he was at school, I go into his room to put his clothes on his bed and noticed his TV right in the MIDDLE OF HIS ROOM on the FLOOR in FRONT of the TV stand because he was too lazy to clean of the stand. I texted him to chew his ass for not doing what I asked and this is what he responded with…

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TWO:

The gross things I’ll find in this boys room will make anyone day drink…. Old dishes with some food still in them most of the time it’s cereal bowls with milk still in them. Cups or milk, cups of soda and cups pf juice in them. The nastiest thing I’ve found was a wad of gum sitting on his shelf. This was like an entire pack of chewed gum! He was too lazy to walk 6 feet to the garbage can.

THREE:

I’ll sit on our couch and reach between the cushions to find something I dropped and find my step son’s disgusting socks instead. He leaves them literally everywhere EXCEPT for his laundry basket. He spends the majority of the time locked in  his room, why can’t he take his socks off in there?! He’s got his dad’s nasty smelling feet too.

FOUR:

So getting my step son to clean anything is like pulling teeth… When we finally get him to clean something, he’ll do it half-assed. One day, I asked him to clean HIS bathroom (three times I asked I might add) and when he finally cleaned it, it honestly looked like he just moved stuff around… He cleaned part of the inside of the toilet but not the outside which was nastier than the inside. He put more effort into half-ass cleaning than he would have just actually cleaning it right. 

FIVE:

This one really drives me crazy. This kid literally eats everything. He doesn’t care who’s it is. He eats 90% of the cereal and milk, pretty much all the snacks… The worst part is that it’s within a 2 day span that he demolishes the snacks. I noticed that he’ll do this when his dad and I  are not around or asleep, so that we have no proof that he did…? I don’t know. 

 

This kid is going to make us go broke with how much we spend on groceries now that he’s in his teens. 

 

BONUS:

I decided to give y’all an extra. So, he denies anything he does wrong. He can never be in the wrong even when there’s not hiding it. He will lie and make stories up that doesn’t point to him. He blames his faults on other people and sticks to his stories even though he’s a terrible liar. He knows he’s a terrible liar and that no one believes him but he still sticks to his story. Lol

 

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How to drive Mama crazy in 5 easy steps: Toddler Edition

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Motherhood is trying, tiring and sometimes just drives us crazy. Lately, with my girls, I’ve gotten to this point. Almost to the point of day drinking, but not quite. They are both good girls, but are demons when they are together… Mini little demon tornado’s who listen to nothing I say. They know exactly what to do and say to push my buttons. Here’s how they drive me crazy in 5 steps:

ONE:

Lanaia playing with her food and then getting her sister to play with her food, which results in a mess and Averie no longer wanting to eat her food. The part that drives me crazy the most is that Averie was eating her food no problem before her big sister started with her food and told her to do the same thing. 

TWO:

Averie has been doing this thing lately where she’ll scream bloody murder when she doesn’t get what she wants. Literally about everything. I can’t break her of it. I’m to the point where I have to just ignore it when she does it or I’m really going to start day drinking. The worst part is, she knows it drives me crazy and she will do it just to see me get mad. 

THREE:

There’s a perfect way to drive me nuts. Lanaia will ask for something and I’ll tell her no, then she’ll ask why and I’ll explain why (more than once) and then she’ll please a million times like her life depended on it, thinking the more times she says it, the chances of me giving it to her will be in her favor when iin reality she just gets time out. 

FOUR:

Averie likes to literally throw her toys across the room, at the wall, at the window and just all over. This drives me crazy, but it drives me even more crazy when her five year old sister starts doing it with her. Obviously she has more force because she’s stronger, so imagine when it’s like when she throws toys at the wall. Sigh. 

FIVE:

So this is just the cherry on top. Lanaia literally  cries about everything. Not exaggerating. Anytime she does anything, like trips over her own feet and falls 2 inches from the floor ON A PILLOW and cried like she broke a bone. Just the other day, her dad took her and Averie to McDonald’s for ice cream and to play in the play area. Averie is flying all over the play area and Lanaia cries because she’s scared of going up a few steps. This girl cries over flies landing on or near her. lol 

All of these drive me mad. Sometimes I hide in my closet, I’m not going to lie. 

What are the things your kids do that drive you crazy? I love stories, especially if they’re not mine. 

 

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Fall time is upon us!

Happy Fall, Y'all!

Yes, I am jumping on that wagon of everyone expressing how much they love fall and yes, I purposely made the title rhyme because I felt it needed that extra umpth! I feel like cat in the hat. In all seriousness now, fall is actually my all time favorite season. I love absolutely everything about it. Literally, EVERYTHING. As soon as the winter hits, I count down the days until it’s fall again. Spring is my horrible allergy season, Summer in Las Vegas is just hot and miserable, and winter is just not my thing… it doesn’t snow in Las Vegas so I would highly call it winter. Anyways… 

Weather

  • The colors of literally everything outside.
  • Cool crisp air.
  • Not hot and not cold. Just right.

The decor

  • Wreaths
  • Scarecrows
  • pumpkins
  • candles
  • table cloths
  • center piece

Apparel

This is probably one of my most favorite parts. 

  • Boots
  • Fuzzy socks
  • Hoodies
  • Scarves.
  • Leggings

I actually have a scarf collection and it gets bigger every fall. My leggings collections is getting pretty good too!

Festivities

  • Pumpkin patch
  • Fall carnivals
  • Apple picking
  • HALLOWEEN
  • Haunted house 
  • Thanksgiving cooking

 

Fun Fact_

Food

This has to be the BEST part of any season and holiday. Here are just some of my favorites. 

  • Caramel Apples
  • Hot fudge turtle brownies
  • Pumpkin cheesecake cookies
  • Hot apple pie

Movies

Nothing like cuddling under a warm blanket on the couch, watching your favorite fall time favorites.

  • Hocus Pocus
  • Halloweentown (Yes, that’s a Disney movie… Don’t judge me.)
  • The Addams Family
  • Halloween Series
  • Goonies
  • Casper
  • Last, but not least, the Macy’s day parade. It’s been a tradition of mine and my family to watch this every year on Thanksgiving morning. I’ve been doing it since I was little. 

 

If only it would stay fall time all year around… *Sigh*

 

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What I didn’t learn until after I became a Mother.

20180925_075950_0001I’ve always wanted to be a Mom, I knew this was my calling. I wouldn’t change it for the world, but there were things I didn’t know until I became a mother. Here is my list of what I learned after I joined motherhood.

ONE:

I learned to not take the little things for granted, such as peeing alone, getting to shower everyday, getting to bed at a decent time and sleep. I took all of these for granted before I became a mom, and now I’m lucky if I get any of these. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to shower more than 2 times a week, so I’m happy for that. I never get to use the bathroom in peace though.

TWO:

I learned how needed I was. Before I was a Mom, I never felt needed or truly wanted. After having my daughter, that’ll all changed. I know I am needed, wanted and relied on. This is the best feeling ever… to feel truly needed and wanted.

THREE:

I never know that I could love more than I already did. I honestly didn’t think it was possible, but after having my baby, it’s like my heart expanded to make unlimited room for love for her. It’s the kind of love that will destroy you if anything were to happen to them.

FOUR:

I never thought I’d believe in holiday characters again. My daughter is too young to understand right now, but when she’s older, I can’t wait to bring that magic into her life.

FIVE:

I didn’t know my eyes would truly open to who is really a friend or not. I lost a lot of friends when I got pregnant and even more after I gave birth, which is honestly a blessing because they were never truly my friends anyways and becoming a mom helped weed out the ones who were fake.

SIX:

I didn’t know I’d ever feel the pain of another human beings pain to the highest extent. I never knew that another human could affect me this way. When my baby is sad, hurt, sick, I feel it… deeply. I hurt for her, with her and I cry for her.

SEVEN:

I never knew that hearing a little voice call out for me in excitement could completely turn a bad day around. I never knew a sweet, simple smile could fill me with so much joy. I never knew that this same sweet, simple smile could take my sadness away in less than 2 seconds.

Motherhood is full of learning experiences. Some take time getting use to and some fill the hole you’ve had in your soul instantly. Yes, things are drastically different, and harder, but more than worth it. Motherhood is the greatest learning experience I’ve ever been apart of.

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You know you’re a mom when…

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ONE:
Most the stuff in your purse is for your kid.

TWO:
When you know the theme song to Daniel Tiger and super why.

THREE:
You know all the songs on Trolls, AND sing along with them.

FOUR:
You ask, “Did you poop?” more than any other question.

FIVE:
You don’t know what peeing alone is like anymore.

SIX:
You love naptime more than your child does.

SEVEN:
You’ve caught vomit in your bare hands in mid air with no second thought.

EIGHT:
You constantly buy unnecessary kids clothes instead of clothes for yourself that you desperately need.

NINE:
A lot of your groceries consist of snacks.

TEN:
You have to hide in the closet to eat your bag of Cheetos in peace without having to share.

ELEVEN:
You depend on coffee or another caffeinated substances to get through every day.

TWELVE:
You own more kid movies than adult movies.

THRITEEN:
When your belongings such as your phone, glasses and wallet go missing on a daily basis.

FOURTEEN:
You get excited over another human being pooping in the toilet.

FIFTEEN:
You watch more kid movies than anything else.

SIXTEEN:
You sleep at the very edge of your bed when your kid is sleeping in it with you.

SEVENTEEN:
You find the quiet suspicious, not relaxing.

EIGHTEEN:
You find toys in the refrigerator.

NINTEEN:
You find little shoes in the garbage can.

TWENTY:
Your house looks like a huge tornado hit it.

I’m sure all my Mama friends can relate to all of these. If you have more to add to the list, please, drop it in the comments below, I’d love to hear them.

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