Posted on 19 Comments

My anxiety isn’t an excuse for YOUR actions

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One of the most reoccurring problems I run into with my anxiety is others using my anxiety as an excuse for their actions. Here’s an example:

 “Oh, you can be in a bad mood because of your anxiety, but when I do it, all hell breaks loose.”

First of all, I don’t use my anxiety as an excuse for how I treat someone. It may be the cause, but it still doesn’t give me the right to justify it because I have anxiety. I realize what I did or said, and I am always quick to apologize. Never do I use it as an excuse to be a bitch to someone and for them to just pretend it didn’t happen. I’m an adult and can recognize when I say or do something wrong and I address it the right way.

Another thing that is on the top of my Anxiety sucks list is when it’s thrown in my face constantly for someone else’s actions. It’s hard enough to feel the way I do with my anxiety and how it can just tear me down and into a million little pieces as it is. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t choose to have anxiety, especially if I’m not going to use it for my benefit. It goes deeper than that. 90% of the time, I feel like I am the only one in the universe who feels like they are crazy, even though I know there are people that feel the same. That’s what anxiety does, it isolates you and breaks you down until you have no idea what emotion is what.

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I’ve had my anxiety belittled by a lot of people. Sadly, mostly family members. I had someone say to me, “You know what anxiety is, right? It’s just fear.” Yeah, it is fear, but not just fear in the simplest form. It’s fear of actual things, and other feelings. Fear of being alone, fear of being powerless, fear of not being good enough. All of these can lead into other things. Like, fear of not being a good parent, fear of not having control of your own life, fear that something is going to go wrong. I know that everyone feels these during their life, but what most people don’t realize or even understand is that people who suffer from anxiety feel these things daily. DAILY PEOPLE. Could you imagine living your life feeling so much fear every day?
This fear can make itself present at any moment, and trust me, it does. It makes itself present with me when I’m happy, when I’m having the best day ever. I can’t always control it. Trust me, if I could, I totally would, because who wants to feel like this?
I’ve also had others tell me “It’s all in your head, you know that right?” DUH. That’s the worst part. It is all in my head. I battle with myself and what goes on up there DAILY. Of course, they didn’t mean it in an understanding way…They meant it like I am making it up. I wish people, I wish.


Sometimes I wish I never talked about my anxiety with others, so they can’t throw it in my face, but then if no one knew what I battle with every day, everyone would just think I’m just a crazy, angry person, so either way, it sucks.


A bit of advice to everyone suffering from anxiety or not, don’t throw someone’s anxiety in their face to justify your actions. Be an adult and own up to your own shit, not make excuses for it, and for those who have anxiety, don’t use it as an excuse to treat someone like shit. Apologize for what you say an do even if anxiety caused it.



19 thoughts on “My anxiety isn’t an excuse for YOUR actions

  1. I’m sorry your family is not very understanding. I suffered terrible anxiety during my second pregnancy, and it was indeed terrifying to lie awake every night worrying about the most ridiculous things, and unable to stop.

  2. I hate how society is still choosing to ignore mental health. We need to be more understanding and accepting of people with anxiety and other mental health disorders.

  3. I don’t understand why our society is still choosing to ignore mental health! We need to be more understanding and accepting of people with serious anxiety.

  4. We should never use an excuse to treat another person poorly. It is bad when you do that. Anxiety or whatever a person does is never an excuse to treat a person poorly.

    1. I agree. I would never treat someone like that. It’s a mental illness and it’s real. I’ve seen it in others. It’s horrible to watch.

  5. I think there is such a huge difference between trying to understand what’s behind behavior and trying to justify it. I think empathy is an important skill to have. We would all benefit from greater understanding!

  6. I agree that folks need to be aware of the feedback and reactions we give to each other. Sometimes, I think people act out because they don’t know how to respond to the anxiety.

  7. I think there is a stigma about anxiety and it really needs to be talked about. Many people think you can just “get over it” and sometimes that just is not the case.

    1. Totally not the case. I get told that a lot. If I could just “get over it”, I would have already.

  8. Anxiety is definitely something that can make you do things that you would not otherwise. I know that I am easily made upset when I am feeling anxious.

    1. It can. I hate it. /:

  9. YES! I can not believe people thrown anxiety back as something bad. When I do something mean I apologize whether it was anxiety related or not. Having a diagnoses makes it easier to understand some actions though and I wish people were kinder.

    1. The world would definitely be a better place if people were kinder.
      I know anxiety can be hard for others to handle, but it’s an actual mental illness.

  10. I so can relate. My anxiety causes a lot of problems and I don’t mean for it to happen.

    1. It can, it’s not something that can always be controlled. I’ve been told to just get it under control like it is simple as 1, 2 3… It’s just not.

  11. I don’t think I’ve ever said this to someone. I know anxiety and depression are different, but they are often viewed the same. My sister went through really bad post-partum depression for a couple of years and I didn’t think it was in her head in a way that she was making it up. I saw how she suffered daily and wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

    1. I would never wish this on anyone either. The worst battles you have are the ones with your own mind. :/

  12. Yes this all day long! You stated it perfectly! I plan to share if you don’t mind!

    1. I would love it if you did. (:

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